The Definitive Guide for Custodial Hosts
(Diary of an Internship)
April 28 ... Got my letter of acceptance for the WDW College Program, Fall '98. I'm not quite sure about my assignment, though. They said something about being a Custodial Host and that I'll have lots of contact with inquiring guests. Sounds important ... I'll be handling custodial interrogation! Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'll be responsible for keeping Main Street safe and clean.
I'll keep you posted as I learn and master my assignment. Can't wait 'til September 1. I'll be grooming my broom and polishing my scooper, anxiously anticipating residence at Vista Way...
June
16 ... Couldn't wait, so I decided to scope out the geography I'll be covering in the Fall. I took the Monorail to the entrance of the Magic Kingdom, and there, just outside the entrance, I found myself standing on a pathway that looks like a sea of bricks. Each brick is dedicated to an important guest. Lo and behold, when I looked beneath my feet, I found this brick --- with my name on it. Disney sure knows how to make a Custodial Host feel at home. I'll keep a special eye on brick W03+982.
July 7 ... Stopped at the World one more time before I begin interning in September. I decided to poll a cross-section of Custodial Hosts. Here is a Top Ten List of reasons interns enjoy Custodial Hosting:
10. Sunshine
9. Babe watching
8. You never have a short cash drawer
7. A great tan
6. No need to repeat a script ad nauseum ("Please
move all the way to the center of the theater, to allow room for everyone", "Please step away from the monorail door", "Do you want fries and a milkshake with your Pinocchio burger?, "Please do not sit on the lean rails", "Move to the center and remain away from the walls", "Please remember that flash photography is prohibited during the presentation").
5. Guests never ask you to do exchanges.
4. Every time a guest comments about how clean the park is, they are acknowledging your work.
3. You get to see the parade and fireworks whenever you want, even while working.
2. You go to sleep every night knowing you helped
the Earth by recycling.
1. You are paid to get a great tan, while smiling, answering guest inquiries, recycling and babe watching.
Sounds like a real tough Fall semester.
August 28 ... While waiting for the fun to begin, I decided to take Microsoft's certification exam. I am now a Microsoft Certified Professional, with credentials for computer systems installation and troubleshooting. This should be useful while I do custodial hosting since I'll probably see plenty of computer-type problems: "garbage in, garbage out." And in case the grounds are unexpectedly clean, it's always nice to have a skill to fall back on ...
September 1 ... I arrived at Vista Way, checked in and met my roommates. I'll be living at the Vista Way Apartments with all of the other College Program interns. It's actually a very nice apartment with three bedrooms, two baths, a kitchen and an eclectic group of other college students from all parts of the USA. Although I brought my car, they provide transportation to and from work and seminars. My internship will be a tripartite program of Living-Learning-Working. Before the Learning-Working part begins, my new roommates and I decided to experience the Living part, living it up in the Parks with plenty of Disney nightlife.
September 10 ... Enough playing for now. It's down to the serious stuff --- classes in Disney Traditions, practical training in street cleaning and that ever popular advanced course on keeping the bathrooms sparkling. I can't reveal the secrets I'm
learning, but it looks like I finally found applications for some of those college courses I said I would never use. More about this later...
September 12 ... My work assignment is located at 28.4475 degrees North Latitude -- 81.8825 degrees West Longitude ... otherwise known as Disney MGM Studios. 
You'll need to know this precise location if you want to see a great view of
my work site from outer space. As you can see from this satellite photo of Earth, the whole Disney MGM theme park is one big
"Hidden Mickey" (just run your mouse over then photo to highlight it). When this shot was taken, I was hard at work. If you look real close, maybe you'll see me doing my custodial hosting in Area 4, at the entry to The Great Movie Ride (right under Mickey's nose).
September 27 ... It's been nearly a month and I'm starting to see connections between my college education and the WDW College Program. Obviously, the Living and Learning components are alot like college life. But the Working component has far more relevance to my college curriculum than I ever imagined. I anticipated that computer programming classes would help me in mastering "garbage in; garbage out" , but I was surprised that Biochemistry and Calculus have also been invaluable in a full understanding of my job. Those courses helped me figure this out:
Applied Physics helped me with this significant part of custodial hosting:[protein spill] + [Voban] = [null set]
Geography, Astronomy, and Anthropology courses each provided a useful background for the hosting part of my work:[broom + friction + scooper] = [< cigarette butts]
The Architectural History and Theater Appreciation classes I took back at UF make it possible for me to answer even the most challenging guest questions:"To get to the Backlot Tour, make a left turn onto Mickey Avenue, but if you are looking for Indiana Jones, walk around Echo Lake, make a left at Star Tours, and a right turn in front of the Dinosaur."
I see now why the WDW College Program is limited to college students. You really need a solid education to do this job right."Yes, The Great Movie Ride is a ride. Yes it is a replica of Mann's Theatre, formerly known as Grauman's Chinese Theatre. Yes, they show movies inside. No, not the whole movie.""Star Tours is Star Wars/Return of the Jedi/The Empire Strikes Back all in one. You can find it at the re-creation of the Ewok Village of Endor Moon, complete with a giant At-At walker and an Imperial Landing pad. You must be at least three years old and 40 inches tall to ride."
"No, you can't get a room at The Hollywood Tower Hotel. It lost its front section in a lightning storm on October 31, 1939, and the elevator hasn't been the same since."
"New York Avenue is really just a facade front, with forced perspective. No, cast members do not live there."
Well, I begin my Disney business seminars this coming week. With luck, I'll earn a Mousters, then a Ducktorate Degree to add to my credentials.
October 10 ... This isn't just work -- today, I joined the cast. Rather than patrol the park on foot, I have been authorized to work wearing inline skates. I am a sight to see -- helmet, skates, elbow pads, Disney issued walkie talkie on the belt of my custodial host uniform, and carrying a scooper and broom. I look like a refugee from Star Tours. Guests think I am part of the cast, approaching me to talk, take pictures, get autographs, and asking if I was in the movie "Rollerball." Only Mickey could make a custodial host look like a movie star. This is an unbelievably cool internship ...
December 7 ... The revolutionary computer-controlled Test Track is almost ready to open. It has been tested for months using special dummies, but now it's time for the real test dummies -- the cast members. I waited in line to be one of the first humans to experience this new ride. The wait was worth it, but I'm sworn to secrecy, so I can't provide a public review here. It looks like it will open to the public next month. Don't miss this high speed ride.
December 16 ... The Boss and me at graduation. I earned the ever elusive, yet highly distinguished, Ducktorate Degree. Everyone knows that cartoon characters have only four fingers, but when I checked this picture, I realized that I now have only four fingers (check the hand on Mickey's shoulder). The College Program really transforms interns into the Disney image.
December
24 -- January 1-- Yes, I worked Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I also worked on Thanksgiving, Columbus Day and Labor Day. They weren't kidding when they said we would spend the holidays at the park. But it was worth it. While traversing through backstage one holiday afternoon in December, I happened upon a familiar face, sharing the holidays with his family. It was the other Boss, Michael Eisner. I stayed in the background.
January 2 -- It's over. It went too fast. I'll never forget the friends I made and the good times we shared.